I'm not actually sure if we're on break of when I'm supposed to be back and I can't tell which one I am less concerned about; I'm three stories up and surrounded by some of the best (and admittingly worst) literature and the sound of ticking keyboards on campus. Everytime I'm here I'm reminded of the city library and museum literally a block from my house and I have this overwhelming urge to spend hours in both. And sadly, I've yet to do either.

The sky is gray and in turn the world seems to be a little more mundane. Cars are a little darker, the air is a little more cool, the breeze is slightly stronger, and the clouds are a little more harsh. I like mundane, I like harsh. I love stretching my legs when everything seems almost still. I sweat less, my lungs fill more, and my brain unwinds. Look at me, all Meredith "dark and twisty".

"Humans were made to run" -Alberto Salazar's Guide to Running.

Speaking of, yesterday I walked in th hosue and unzipped my boots after a long twenty four hours of no sleep and a sad, sad excuse for a meal. I couldn't tell what was more heavy; my eyes or my (textbook filled) backpack. But I didn't want to wait for a fight and I certainly wasn't in the mood to entertain an ego so I slipped out of my jumpsuit and into my asics, leashed the wild animal and started out for a run. One small lake, weaving through the entire historic residential area, and one very very large lake later, we were home; he almost dragging his tongue between his paws and me with sweat accumilating in my shirt and feeling a little more lighter and a lot more relaxed. I enjoy moments like that the most; I get to step out of my life and away from the responsibility and headache of all the people, stress, and self-induced anxiety.

Our cute and innocent bunny was compared to a raptor this morning testing the containment fencing in Jurassic Park. But this time it's not my fault because technically, I didn't pick him. I just picked what I wanted him to look like. The queen diva/prettiest-girl-in-the-pagent gelding, tail-less gecko, and daddy issue dog; those were my bad.

eh, I should probably head back to class.

I have this thing for as he calls it, "twine jewelry". I prefer to call it "natural" rather than hippie because a. I hate hippies and b. I shower regularly and c. I don't do drugs. It's plain but personal and  it's rugged rather than pretenious.
And most of all, it's cheap.

Twine jewelry, old books, grocery shopping, hot tea, cookies, "distressed" wood furniture, running, outdoors, keeping the cap ON the shaving cream can in the shower, sunflowers, and really really great cupcakes. Those are some of my things.

I'm in the campus library again.

I find spending my lunch break surrounded by books is so much more fullfilling than mulling over over-priced, mediocore cafeteria food, with people I see far too much of anyway.

I'm done with adult protocol practicals.
What? Is that a light at the end of the tunnel? or is that just my aneurysm.
(Fact: one in fifteen people in the united states will develop a brain aneurysm. Most commonly detected between the ages of 35 to 60 with a ratio women vs men at 3:2)

In case you were curious, engagement ring shopping is hard.

Especially when you were the girl who grew up thinking you'd never get married because you're too wild to be tied down and too hell bent on your independence to rely on another-anything. Instead of playing barbies and dreaming of napkin hews, flower arrangements, and making a mental checklist of your future husband; I played 'Nam in the woods behind the house and constructed elaborate forts inbetween soccer practice. Mother nature was my playground, not a dollhouse.

but I don't think it's about being tied down, tamed, or losing your independence.
I think it's about finding someone, as cheesy as this may be to quote (my hero) Ms. Sarah Jessica Parker, "Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they’re supposed to run wild until they find someone — just as wild — to run with."
Have you thrown up yet from how sappy that was?
Which reminds me- I started my diet today.

It'll probably last until Wednesday.
On a glass-half full note, the massive school ride alongs I had scheduled that have almost all but been completely canceled. So during spring break on both days it was canceled, I ran eight miles each. Love love love. Relaxing, unplanned, runs. I love how limber I feel the next day.



split shank, cathedral, princess cut, oy, I don't know. I just want to wear it.


I'm catching myself smiling more. My hair is still falling out from stress and I have more pent up anxiety than a chihuaha in a dog cage all day but there's periods of intermittent, unprovoked smiling.